


to you

by starrydoie



Category: NCT
Genre: Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Rambling, Thinking Out Loud, True Love, idk doyoung's just rly dramatic in here, this is quite literally a letter from doyoung to taeyong idk what to tell u guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrydoie/pseuds/starrydoie
Summary: to you, taeyong,with every inch of my heart,doyoung.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung & Lee Taeyong, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43





	to you

To Taeyong,

When did you become more than just a someone to me? 

When did you become The one? Is there any way to properly pinpoint the moment you became something more than just another Person to me? Was it, perhaps, when we first set eyes on each other? Was it the first time we held hands? The first time we stayed up all night to look at the stars? The first time you smiled at me? Or was it a gradual buildup, from the first time we kissed to our everyday conversations? 

Did I fall for you slowly, sinking into love as peacefully as the sun goes down? Or was it sudden, the first time you finished one of my sentences, a sign of our closeness, of our connection, our ability to understand each other without even needing to say a single word? Was it when i started to understand what you were saying, even if you wouldn’t say anything, so acquainted had I become with your eyes, or was it when I bared my soul out to you, knowing you'd only give me comfort in return?

When did we go from friends to confidantes, from acquaintances to lovers, how did I go from years of loneliness and cracked friendships to this, this complete dependency on you? There was a point where I believed, sincerely believed that I should be afraid, my love for you was achingly bittersweet, for it was desperately painful, I did not know where I stood with you but now there is a new kind of confusion, a delicious and all-consuming type of confusion. I do not know where my heart begins and where yours ends for we have become intertwined, we have become one, outsiders can no longer tell us apart, who have we become, I am no one without you, my love for you is painful and so beautiful, I no longer fear it, I invite it.

I wonder sometimes- when did you fall for me? Because I know my moment now. I know the exact day I knew I would breathe my last breath thinking of your pretty, pretty lips, but do you feel the same clarity, that same intensity? These are things I think of, but no longer worry about, for we will be alright, I know you love me with every bone in your body and I love you with everything I am, everything I have yet to become, and we are going to be okay no matter what, because even if the universe rips us apart, murders our innocent love, our memories will live on, we will remember this love, this intensity, this affection, it will fill us up forever, my mind is full of you and I know yours is full of mine, for we are one now, there was never any doubt. There was fear, I admit, but there is none now. 

I am in love, I am desperately drowning in the ocean that is you, and I can admit that with pride. I love you, I can never stop loving you, even if I try, because this is not choice, this is fate; this is what was meant for me from day one. You are my rose, my star, my moonlight. My eyes see only you. I love you. And you love me, and this clarity, this complete and utter faith that I have in you used to scare me, but it doesn’t anymore, because I know now, I know for certain that you and I are equally addicted to each other’s presence, I know now that I am to you what the rain is to the sea, and you are the very first breath I take after I have been drowning underwater, we are each other’s anchors, we hold each other down to earth, we are each other’s link to reality, and I exist only as an extension of you, and you are an extension of me. 

The red strings of our fate have become so intertwined that the angels themselves could never untangle them, so permanently have we weaved our lives together, there is no future I see that does not contain you, and I know that you feel the same. 

This feeling, this lucidity, it is intoxicating. I am so grateful that you entered my life, so grateful that you clung to me so strongly, that you saw my broken heart, my twisted past and you decided to take me with all my flaws, you gave me my space, you allowed me to be your friend and only your friend, even though all you’d craved your entire life was a significant other, a lover, someone that could absorb your whole being until “you” became “me”. I have no one to thank but you for the joy I feel, for the life I have now, with you by my side. 

You never gave up on us, on me, no matter how frail my heart was, no matter how scared I was of love, of you, you stayed by side, never asking for anything more than what I was willing to give. You never pushed me, never took more than what I could give you. You are the cause of my joy, of my euphoria. You are me, and I am you, and I swear, never have I been this grateful to lose all sense of self, to lose myself in you is my greatest ability. I love you, I love you, and if the world ends tomorrow I will perish with the knowledge that I found you, I will fade away with pride, knowing that my last moments were spent with you, holding your hand, gazing in your eyes.

So tell me now, my love, because I don’t want to assume things, even if I think I might already know the answer... Will you marry me?

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Yeah I don't know what the hell this is either... I seem to be incapable of writing full Stories sighs... anyways, I hope this moved in you some way. I wrote this at the demon hour and honestly speaking I kind of went off into a ramble... i hope someone out there like this enough to leave a lil kudos hehe >:D


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